Unlocking the key o Lelli Kelly’s Cuteness
I’m struggling to get my head round why Lelli Kelly shoes are so unbelievably cute. It seems that their undiluted cuteness has been elevated to an almost ethereal level; a godly, unearthly status that makes other shoes quiver with fear and loathing.
Is it really fair that Lelli Kelly alone seem to be able to create these magnificently adorable little shoes? Is there some sort of secret that they alone are clued up about, and that us mere mortals will never hold the key to? Surely there is a way of other brands creating shoes just as cute?
The problem, of course, is that the answer to all the above questions is a solid, juicy and resounding ‘No’. I don’t know what they put in that Italian water, but there's clearly something sketchy afoot here, and I want to get to the bottom of it.
It’s simply not fair that a company can create shoes as cute as the Flora Dolly. There should be laws enforced and permits distributed to anyone wanting to make a shoe so delectably delicious as the Strawberry Baby Dolly. If it was a British company their factory would surely have been raided by specialist crack teams of army commandos by now, in a vain attempt to obtain the secrets behind this unnatural level of cuteness.
For now though, I have a plan that may at the very least assist us in our fight to uncover the truth. Each and every one of us, regardless of whether or not we own a little girl, should get out there and buy as many pairs of Lelli Kelly shoes as is physically and financially possible. We can undertake experiments to unearth the secrets, and then all meet somewhere once a month, preferably in some sort of abandoned slate mine, to discuss our findings.
It won’t be easy, it won’t be all fun and games, but by Jove if we can discover the secret behind the cuteness, it’ll be worth it. You all know what to do. Get as many Lelli Kelly shoes as you can and meet me in the arranged location at 0400 hours. Dismissed.
Is it really fair that Lelli Kelly alone seem to be able to create these magnificently adorable little shoes? Is there some sort of secret that they alone are clued up about, and that us mere mortals will never hold the key to? Surely there is a way of other brands creating shoes just as cute?
The problem, of course, is that the answer to all the above questions is a solid, juicy and resounding ‘No’. I don’t know what they put in that Italian water, but there's clearly something sketchy afoot here, and I want to get to the bottom of it.
It’s simply not fair that a company can create shoes as cute as the Flora Dolly. There should be laws enforced and permits distributed to anyone wanting to make a shoe so delectably delicious as the Strawberry Baby Dolly. If it was a British company their factory would surely have been raided by specialist crack teams of army commandos by now, in a vain attempt to obtain the secrets behind this unnatural level of cuteness.
For now though, I have a plan that may at the very least assist us in our fight to uncover the truth. Each and every one of us, regardless of whether or not we own a little girl, should get out there and buy as many pairs of Lelli Kelly shoes as is physically and financially possible. We can undertake experiments to unearth the secrets, and then all meet somewhere once a month, preferably in some sort of abandoned slate mine, to discuss our findings.
It won’t be easy, it won’t be all fun and games, but by Jove if we can discover the secret behind the cuteness, it’ll be worth it. You all know what to do. Get as many Lelli Kelly shoes as you can and meet me in the arranged location at 0400 hours. Dismissed.